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Eve, my love,
yesterday a good friend from Hamburg came visiting and we finally stranded in an Italian restaurant where the chef had to gently usher us out of the door at 1 a.m. ... It must have been due to the huge amount of mineral water that I felt quite drowsy this morning, leaving me in an inappropriate mood for doing boring editorial work. I came back to your journal instead and discovered the newly added Rilke. First of all: I proofread the poem - and you've done a perfect job. No typos or whatsoever. After that I still didn't feel like serious working and attempted my own translation of this beautiful poem as I had the impression that Stephen Mitchell had sometimes carried his artistic liberties a bit too far. "und mit Verwandlung prunkt" (first stanza) is definitely something completely different than "bursts into something else". The forth line also is a very daring, very rough - and as I'd like to add: unnecessary - adaptation of Rilke's original. Anyway, you find my humble translation at the end of this mail and I'm really looking forward to hearing your criticism. Love, love, love Kai Will transformation. Oh, be enthusiastic about the flame in which a thing withdraws from you, resplendent with transfigurations; this spirit of creation who masters all the earthly loves nothing more than the turning point of a sweeping figure. What retreats to permanence, already starts to congeal (ossify?); Seeks it safety in the shelter of the inconspicious gray? Wait, from the far a most hardest warns the hard. Be warned: the absent hammer is raising! Who pours himself forth like a spring will be recognized by cognition, and, overjoyed, she leads him through the cheerfully created (cheerful creation) that often with beginning ends and ending starts. Every prosperous place they pass through wondering is a child or grandchild of separation. And transfigured Daphne since she feels like laurel, wants you to transform into wind. "Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?" (Hobbes) http://www.schwirzke.de <http://www.schwirzke.de/> http://www.schwirzke.com <http://www.schwirzke.com/> |
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