carron leon

I finally looked at your site today. I just was not ready to do so before now.

The emails from everyone reminded me of a lot of silly, disjointed things. How much I hate the fact that we lost two years of being friends because of stupidity. How much I love you and how happy I am that you are my "sister". Even if we look nothing alike. Neither of us look like my Chinese-Japanese baby brother either. He was supposed to be on the plane from Newark to San Francisco. I've never been so very happy to learn that someone missed a flight!!!!! I think about the fact that if I hadn't gone to St. Monica's, then we would have been in the same class for high school. I liked your uniforms so much more. I read Frank's email and it reminded me of how very much I liked him the few times I met him.

I read your posting about the rector at your church service. You know I went to 12 years of Catholic school, and have continued to go to church somewhat regularly. In all the years of my life I have never seen a priest at a loss for words. The man stood there, on the altar, with his finger against his mouth, searching for the words he'd planned to end his homily. At last he told us that he had planned a big finish, but he'd just lost it. He stood there for another moment and finally most of what he planned to say returned to him. The homily was ended. The mass went on. I've always loved my church here in New York (though not as much as St. Monica's) because the same people are there all the time. We see each other at church. We see each other at the market, in the dog run, in the park, wandering along Columbus Avenue. It's a reminder that in this large, supposedly harsh city, we are just a little village. I've been lazy lately and have skipped going to weekly mass. I'd asked God to please help me get back into going to mass regularly. A little kick in the butt. I had my own self-important vision of the sky opening and God booming out "Carron, get off your lazy behind and go to 5:30 mass." Something simple. Direct. Certainly not this! I've been struggling with the thought of forgiveness for the people who committed these atrocious acts. I find that I do. Without a question. That makes me wonder how sane I am. How can I unthinkingly forgive the people that have caused such grief to come to so many. Maybe it is the 12 years of Catholic school. Maybe it is just remembering my third grade teacher who taught me that we have to love everyone, but we certainly don't have to like them. Well, I don't like the terrorists, the people who supported them and continue to support their efforts, and those who harbor them. I do like to remember that in the end, my forgiveness matters not a whit. Only God can truly forgive. I'm willing to bet that he's withholding his forgiveness this time.

[carron leon]


	I finally looked at your site today. I just was not ready to do so before now. The emails from everyone reminded me of a lot of silly, disjointed things. How much I hate the fact that we lost two years of being friends because of stupidity. How much I love you and how happy I am that you are my "sister". Even if we look nothing alike. Neither of us look like my Chinese-Japanese baby brother either. He was supposed to be on the plane from Newark to San Francisco. I've never been so very happy to learn that someone missed a flight!!!!! I think about the fact that if I hadn't gone to St. Monica's, then we would have been in the same class for high school. I liked your uniforms so much more. I read Frank's email and it reminded me of how very much I liked him the few times I met him. I read your posting about the rector at your church service. You know I went to 12 years of Catholic school, and have continued to go to church somewhat regularly. In all the years of my life I have never seen a priest at a loss for words. The man stood there, on the altar, with his finger against his mouth, searching for the words he'd planned to end his homily. At last he told us that he had planned a big finish, but he'd just lost it. He stood there for another moment and finally most of what he planned to say returned to him. The homily was ended. The mass went on. I've always loved my church here in New York (though not as much as St. Monica's) because the same people are there all the time. We see each other at church. We see each other at the market, in the dog run, in the park, wandering along Columbus Avenue. It's a reminder that in this large, supposedly harsh city, we are just a little village. I've been lazy lately and have skipped going to weekly mass. I'd asked God to please help me get back into going to mass regularly. A little kick in the butt. I had my own self-important vision of the sky opening and God booming out "Carron, get off your lazy behind and go to 5:30 mass." Something simple. Direct. Certainly not this! I've been struggling with the thought of forgiveness for the people who committed these atrocious acts. I find that I do. Without a question. That makes me wonder how sane I am. How can I unthinkingly forgive the people that have caused such grief to come to so many. Maybe it is the 12 years of Catholic school. Maybe it is just remembering my third grade teacher who taught me that we have to love everyone, but we certainly don't have to like them. Well, I don't like the terrorists, the people who supported them and continue to support their efforts, and those who harbor them. I do like to remember that in the end, my forgiveness matters not a whit. Only God can truly forgive. I'm willing to bet that he's withholding his forgiveness this time. [carron leon]
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